*thoughts from 10/17/15*
It is late; however I’m very much awake. Though I’ve had a long busy day, it has been a good one because of all that needed to be done. Any time I’m extremely productive it feels like a day well spent. And so it was, and now I feel spent. I’m physically exhausted, but mentally the engines are running at full force. So here I am cozied up in bed, writing away the energy. With my fairy lights aglow, my birch candle ablaze, and the soft lull of a classical melody filling the space the only thought that comes to mind is what a perfect way to end the day.
What my day consisted of:
-I woke up in my comfy queen bed (I had to come home from uni)
-learned I will be needing glasses (reason why I came home from uni)
-went to several home improvement stores and have basically decided everything in my house needs updating (don’t worry, my parents are fine with it & trust my design abilities lol)
-replaced all of the hardware to a nice brushed stainless steel
-painted one of our bathrooms a taupe-ish grey (nice, light, & sophisticated)
-And came up with a gameplay for the rest of the renovations
Not only was this a good day because of how productive it was, but mainly because of what was being accomplished. (Time to get into the super deep stuffz). As I haven’t held back from mentioning, life has been tough lately. A lot of that has to do with the transitioning to university and ultimately adulthood. Me being me, I make it unnecessarily stressful and draining. Which I cope with; one way is by occasionally coming home to recharge. In order to recharge, I find being creative is what does that for me. And having chances to be creative in the way I'd like to be (i.e. interior design) is something I have been lacking at school. This revelation has brought on many questions. Am I happy with my major? (It’s too soon to say I think). What can I do differently? What do I want and need? How can I achieve that?
These last two questions really stump and somewhat frustrate me. I can visualize what I’d love to do, but a) I’m afraid it isn’t necessarily practical, b) that I’m being overly ambitious and unrealistic, and c) that it isn’t possible at this moment in time because I need to devote my time to my studies. And not going to lie, it sucks. Sometimes it feels as though I’ve yet to get my life going. However I think we’ve all had moments like that when we wonder why what we want can’t happen right now. Though I’m feeling like this tonight as I reflect, this isn’t a usual occurrence. I’ve made peace with the natural course and timing of things.
And how I did so is mainly why I’ve decided to share this train wreck of a post incase others are feeling this way, as well. Whether you're religious or not, the overarching meaning of the following quotes can be helpful; I know they've helped me positively push forward:
“Don’t mistake God’s patience for His absence. His timing is perfect, and His presence is constant. He’s always with you.” -Deuteronomy 31:6
“Sometimes we don’t understand why we are waiting. Often it is because God has something great in store, it’s just not the right time.” -Joel Osteen
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Even though I will be patient whilst moving in the direction of my heart’s desires, I’m still going to take little steps forward. It may all be in God’s timing, but that doesn’t mean I still can’t try to stick to my own schedule. Because within those periods of trying, eventually it is the right time. The impossible will become possible and the unattainable will become attainable.
And, as always, things have a way of working out.